Okay, I’ve briefly stated my opinion on Ms. Blake a couple of times in my reviews. Today, I’m going to go more in-depth on my feelings on her character.
Ms. Blake: Who Is She?
You know? That’s a great fucking question.
We don’t really have much to go on, which was fine when she was just the new English teacher of Beacon Hills. But now that she’s Derek “I Have Enough Issues to Fill My Burnt Down Family Mansion” Hale’s brand-spanking new love interest, this presents a problem. She needs characterization beyond, well, “school teacher that seems to get herself in trouble with werewolves a lot.”
And more than that—she doesn’t seem to be a very good teacher. Even in the first episode when the crows flew into the classroom and started attacking students, instead of trying to usher the kids out the door and into the hallway for safety, she just yells “Get down!” and cowers behind her desk. Sure, she’s huddled with some of the students, but really? A good teacher would have tried to get the kids out into the hallway keeping them from getting needlessly hurt.
I mean, hasn’t she practiced fire drills? Same principle, but with birds.
And she also spends ridiculous amounts of time at the school. This doesn’t earn you extra credit, you know. This only makes me think your purposes of hanging out at your job at 3 in the morning are suspect. Also, wandering into the supply closet of your job at 3 in the morning doesn’t say “I ran out of materials, despite it being the first week of school.” It says, “I’m stealing as much of this stuff as I can, because I’m cheap.”
It doesn’t necessarily make her a bad teacher, but it does make her a shitty employee.
Okay, fine. Maybe she wasn’t stealing from the supply closet. Perhaps it was just an underhanded ploy (by the Powers That Be, or Ms. Blake herself, it is unsure) to make sure she was in the wrong spot at the right time for when the weres attacked, thereby allowing her to be rescued by Derek.
Great. So she’s a bad teacher who’s a damsel in distress.
(I would like to point out, that at this point in the game, I am not mocking her for shutting the gate and hiding behind the shelves when the werewolves came panting for her. I would have done the exact same thing. This doesn’t, however, mean that she wasn’t a damsel in distress. Sometimes that’s okay. It’s okay to be rescued on occasion. When it stops being okay is when you’re constantly in need of rescuing and never achieve anything for yourself. Then it’s dangerous, and makes me not like you).
One last one for the bad teacher column: she freaks out over teaching her class The Crucible. Are you serious? You’re an English teacher. You should have some form of lesson plan in mind after assigning the work. Admitting that you’re nervous standing in front of 30 teenagers is okay, but then going off to saying you have “no idea how to teach them The Crucible”? That means you’re bad at lesson planning, and as lesson planning is kind of a big skill set needed for being a high school teacher, it makes you pretty bad at your job.
Right. So, Ms. Blake: bad teacher. Damsel in distress. Not much else.
That Sex Scene
Let’s jump right in it, folks. Let’s discuss the sex scene in Motel California. (Not the one with Ethan and Danny. Boy, this will be a different sort of blog post if we went there. Yowza).
Nope, we’re going to talk about Derek Manpain Hale and Ms. Special Snowflake Blake.
We get that Derek needs to be rescued. He, admittedly, does need quite a bit of rescuing, what with his constant need to lose fights and get himself in trouble on a weekly basis. So, hurt, bleeding from several orifices and no doubt internally, he wanders to the highschool, once again (think back to The Magic Bullet, guys, way back in Season One. Look familiar?) to find help in the form of Scott and Stiles. Only, Scott and Stiles aren’t there. So he collapses into the first car that has a person inside of it.
Look, I’m going to tangent off here. This scene was set up almost exactly like the one in The Magic Bullet when Derek falls in front of Stile’s jeep. And much like Motel California where Ms Blake takes him somewhere safe, “attempts” to help him but really just keeps him company until Derek can heal himself, we’ve already seen this all before in The Magic Bullet with Derek and Stiles, who attempts to help but really just keeps him company until Derek can finally heal himself.
It’s the exact same scene structure.
The only difference, of course, being that Ms. Blake climbs Derek like a sexualized tree, and Stiles, well, remains chaste.
As much as I wish there was a sexy make out scene with Derek and Stiles (a character whom I will always assert would be good for our wayward Alpha), I can admit that at that point in the show (only four episodes in to Season One), it would have been very premature.
However, by setting up the two episodes in very mirrored ways, it does give validity to the chemistry we saw with Derek and Stiles. Have the two scenes run practically side by side, only with one of them ending in sexy times and the other not means that the one that didn’t could have very well ended in sexy times as well.
You following me? I’ll say it a different way.
If you thought you were imagining chemistry between Derek and Stiles, you weren’t. Ms. Blake is essentially Stiles’ stand-in.
Shit, they even look alike.
Okay, so Ms. Blake gets to have some hot bedroom action. Good for her, I guess.
Or is it? Here’s a couple of things that bothered me about the scene. First: she wanders off to look for bandages, finds none, so she goes back to Derek to tell him so.
Really? That’s it? “Oh hey, you’re bleeding all over the place, but I couldn’t find a bandaid, so now I’m going to seduce you, mmkay?”
No. No, a decent person would have offered to go to the corner store and pick up some friggin’ gauze or something. You don’t just “Oops. Well. I guess that means you’ll just have to bleed out all over this nice bed. Hey, are these new sheets?”
Lady, really. What is going through your head?
Then you proceed to sex Derek up.
Okay, fine. I can go with that. But the second thing that bothered me didn’t actually bother me until the next episode. Here, walk with me for a moment.
There have been three sexy-times scenes this season (taking out the two aborted failures of the virgins getting axed instead of laid). There has been Aiden and Lydia. Ethan and Danny (at least, I assume these two got laid. I’m pretty sure Danny boy talked Ethan into it once he got back to their motel room). And…
Ms. Blake and Derek.
Look, perhaps it’s total coincidence, but Ethan and Aiden, being a part of the Alpha pack, are probably sleeping with Danny and Lydia in some sort of seduce and destroy mission. The Alpha pack seems pretty dead set on using mind games to cripple the Beacon Hills wolves, and seduction is a pretty hefty mind game. So we have the twins sleeping with members of the “Good Guys” crew for nefarious purposes, and we have… our lovely English teacher.
She swept into the scene just like Ethan and Aiden did. Perhaps sleeping with Derek was less a fortunate incident, and more like a craftily planned coincidence.
Because immediately after sleeping with Derek, the twins kidnap her from school to hold her hostage so Kali can convince Derek to fight her one-on-one. Except… how did anyone know she had slept with Derek? Derek didn’t tell anyone. No one was even in town to see her leaving his loft.
So how did the twins found out?
Ms. Blake probably told them.
Perhaps it is a coincidence. Perhaps Aiden happened to see Ms. Blake doodling in her lesson plan “Mrs Jennifer Hale. Mrs. Jennifer Blake-Hale. DH + JB = <3!” and drew the correct conclusion.
But that’s messy, isn’t it? Sadly, it makes more sense if Ms. Blake is working with the Alphas, or for them, and is playing little Miss Damsel in Distress to lower Derek’s guard, so she can swoop in, get under his skin, then destroy him from the inside.
As much as it pains me to think of Derek going through something like that (again), this is the most likely explanation.
Derek really has no luck with women. He should probably stop sleeping with them all together.
Even so, I wish that Ms. Blake is secretly a villain. That, at least, would give her some character.
And a final note. Since I am a part of the Teen Wolf fandom, it was hard not to notice the huge support that the Derek and Ms. Blake ship has been receiving of late. (Cutely named “Dennifer.”) Now, I really don’t get this ship (for the reasons I just went over), but I thought I would check it out to see why exactly so many people love her. Perhaps I wasn’t seeing something. Perhaps I missed something important.
The major reason I saw for people liking Ms. Blake and Derek together? Because she’s pretty.
Holy fucking shit no.
Here, if you think a couple should be fucking soul mates because one of them is pretty, let me enlighten you on your ignorance.
A person is not their face. A person is a combination of personality traits, both merits and flaws and quirks. A person is not the skin they live in. A person is the life they lived, the life they are living, and the life they wish to live someday. A person is not their outward appearance. A person is the actions they take, the emotions they feel, the words they utter, the thoughts they think.
Pretty is an adjective. It is not a fucking noun.
You need more than just a fucking adjective to have a romance.
And worse? Worse is you’re calling a stereotyped female a good option for Derek because she’s pretty. So what? That’s all women are? Pretty? If you aren’t pretty, you aren’t good enough to be a woman? Pretty is the end all be all of existence for female characters?
You have just set back feminism 150 years.
No, you go to your room and you think about how you degraded humanity to a fucking insipid adjective.
Gah. I am so done.
There you have it. Draw your own conclusions. As for me, I’ll be drinking until I drown the woes of the universe, and glaring mistrustfully at Ms. Blake.