To the Hot Topless Jogger Who Passed By Me the Other Day

It’s spring, and I know that you want to get outdoors and play. I don’t blame you–that’s why I’m out here, too. The sun is shining and it’s finally warm enough to walk–or jog, in your case. Why wouldn’t we want to get outside after being cooped up all winter?

You were running down my path, opposite my direction, and you weren’t wearing a shirt. In fact, you weren’t wearing much other than track shorts, tennis shoes and those frankly ridiculous ray-bans. But you were pretty hot (in more ways than one!), and that was definitely distracting. You must do a lot of pushups, is all I’m saying. If I hadn’t been concentrating on not tripping over anything or falling over from “omg why did I ever think exercise was a good idea I just want to go hoooome,” I might have said something inappropriate about your biceps. Because yowza.

I wanted to bury my fingers in your chest hair.

So anyway, this note is for you, Hot Topless Jogger. I saw you running outside the other day. If you noticed me, you didn’t make any acknowledgment of it–but that’s okay. I saw you. And you were hot.

Hope to see you again!