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The last time I published here was six months ago. I mean, you knew that, if you’re reading this. The time stamps are all there.

But man, I’m just… not a great blogger.

I think I’m just concentrating too hard to make this my *does literal, actual, in-real-life finger quotes* “professional blog,” and I am… just not that kind of person.

Oh man.

Anyway, so I do have something up on the ol’ ferret blog (not actually about ferrets, fyi) about health and all that jazz. And wow. That post…. it kind of… broke me for a while. For a whole lot of reasons–some of which I knew and was expecting and they still steamrolled me, and some were all new reasons I never expected but looking back at my own life maybe I should have realized…and yes, I get I’m being super cryptic but gods i am just not ready to talk about it yet.

Check out the post if you want. The other posts in that series are all really good. Mine’s basically me just rolling about on the floor making weird whale noises.

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The One Time I Had To Lie To My Boss

Let me tell you a little story:

My boss has recently decided that he was going to change how he presented documents to clients. Before, we had spiral bound them, but now we are going to pack them in these specially made boxes. I have to admit, the boxes are pretty spiffy looking.

Anyway, when he first got the proof, he came into my office to show it to me. “Look,” he said, “have you ever seen a material like this?” The box had a velvet-like finish, so it was almost soft.

I had to lie and tell him no. Because to do otherwise meant explaining to him that my vibrator had the same finish on it.

See, this is why phrasing is important.

Random Thoughts

Sometimes I get random thoughts and musings that are longer than 140 characters–so they’re poorly suited for twitter. I guess I’ll put them here.

This is a bit TMI but, periods are like house parties. Sometimes they’re quiet dinner parties with close friends. Other times they are raging keggers where the cops are called out and something inevitably gets set on fire.

This month is a kegger.

Ugh.